Boobs Still Hurt

A month post-surgery and my breasts still hurt, especially the non-cancer (not tissue-expanded) breast. I did not expect it to last this long but friends who have had breast augmentation say it may take another month to feel better. They look fantastic though, they haven't "dropped" completely yet but they look almost normal. My plastic surgeon was fantastic.

The Tamoxifen side effects seem to be mild so far, no hot flashes and periods are nearly normal.

One last chemo side effect: fine blonde hairs on my face and back, something I never had before. Guess I'll have to Nair or wax them, they don't seem to be getting worse so I bet they stay away after I get rid of them.

On my head the hair is about an inch long. Still wigging it, probably will for another couple of months until I can get a hairstyle that doesn't look like a boy.

The Ovaries Are Working

My period is back, with a vengeance. It felt a little odd at times last month but this month is nearly a normal period. I know I'm supposed to want estrogen out of my body because it feeds cancer, but I'm hoping the cancer is all gone and I can enjoy the benefits of estrogen (like good bone density, sex drive, no menopause symptoms, etc.).

Mostly it's another sign of normal life returning.

Oh and the hair is about 5/16".

Yea, Some New Hair

My eyebrows have some gray areas that now seem to be sprouting hair. My eyelashes are coming in too and I think I see a similar gray patch on my head. I can't wait.

If my hair can grow back and my arm pain can go away then the chemo will finally be over.

Chemo Symptoms Finally Easing

The eye doctor gave me some ointment which has kept my eye feeling good but I can't wear my contacts at all. It's been several days since I needed a nap so I'm over the fatigue. I'm dry from head to toe though, more so now than during the actual treatments. No hair growing in yet but it's only 3 weeks since the last treatment.

The oncologist says I should not expect to feel normal for another month or so. Luckily he says I can wait to start taking Tamoxifen until then.

No period this month, we may have to wait 6 months to see if my ovaries survived the treatments. I'm really hoping they are okay, I need the Estrogen to prevent osteoporosis and heart disease.

Mouth Sores and Eye Pain

They warned me about the mouth sores but I didn't think I'd come this far and get them at the end. I bit my lip and it's healing very slow. Very annoying and painful and I re-bite it almost every day.

But my eye has started hurting now. It seemed like an eyelash stuck in there yesterday but tonight it looks like there might be an ulcer and it's much redder. I'll have to call tomorrow for help.

I just want this over, I didn't expect so many small side effects to plague me at over 2 weeks after my last treatment.

Sick and tired

The nausea is lasting much longer this time. The first cycle it was over the first night! This time it's Friday and I still feel sick to my stomach.

I'm tired too, I slept most of this week and I'll nap alot today I'm sure.

I miss my kids too, I hope they don't remember how tired and absent Mommy's been these past 2 months.

I just want it to be done but I don't feel like it's lifting yet.

Chemo #4

Today's the last chemo. We decided to not do the last Neulasta shot, there's not much point in being ready for the next cycle when this is the last cycle. Also a nurse says it might be the cause of my arm pain.

The chemo is uneventful except that they poke me several times finding a vein. Nurse #2 has to come over and try and she misses once too. I have an angry bruise spot and a long bruise streak to show for it.

Amazingly I still have some hair, it's only enough to wear a baseball hat and not look too goofy but I'll take it. Cycle #4 will probably finish it off though.

I'm dreading this coming week but at least it's almost over.

#4 Tomorrow...

Chemo #4 is tomorrow and my arm is still hurting. I have no idea where they will be doing the treatment but it won't be this arm. I can see where one vein has collapsed and my muscle (nerve?) still hurts further up.

I'm definitely more tired this cycle, maybe it was a little virus or having my period or maybe the chemos accumulate. I guess I'll know next week after #4.

Thank God this is almost over and my sympathies to people who have 8, 12 or more cycles.

Bad News/Good News

The only thing worse than a chemo treatment week is a chemo week AND your period. I heard all kinds of things about what chemo would do to my ovaries but no one can say for sure. There's a good chance (maybe 30%?) that the chemo will induce early menopause and "kill" them. I guess this is a good sign, it's right on time and fairly normal. Even if it isn't a good sign, there's no way it can be a bad one right?

I'm certain it doesn't make the week easier though.

Last cycle is June 18th.

Chemo Cycle #3

Well Chemo plus a cold is no fun. I can hardly breathe but my white cell counts were still good enough for round three. On the one hand I hate this cold and that I might have it for another week, on the other hand I'm happy to be 3/4 done.

The hair is about 2/3 gone now and I have to wear a hat to go out. No one at Mayo could believe it had lasted this long. I still wonder if a "cold cap" would have worked for me.

Much More Tired

This time I'm napping every day for the last 3 days. No more aches (from the Neulasta shot?) but I'm definitely more tired. Lots of help from friends and family is helping us and helping to wear the kids out everyday.

I feel all dried out everywhere too, despite lots of water, lotion, etc.

The hair continues to come out a half dozen at a time, tomorrow I have to wash it and I'm not looking forward to how much comes out then.

So glad this is halfway done.

Chemo Day #2

Second time much like the first. After getting my lab work back and seeing good white counts (thanks Neulasta), we're sent off to the Chemo room. 2 hours of Adriamycin, Cytoxan and the gang. Mild nausea at home tonight, calmed by Zofran and Compazine. Today was actually a little better than the first cycle because I tried harder to eat and drink.

Still have all my hair but everyone agrees this is the week it must go. I've got one wig and a hat with more to come when I feel up to it this week.

Chemo Going Well So Far

So far so good, I'm definitely more tired than normal but that's about all so far. I've lost about 5 lbs because almost nothing sounds good to eat to me. Still we're feeling very lucky.

Feeling Odd

At chemo +3 days I feel like my head is full of something, maybe the medicine. I almost have a headache all the time and I just don't feel like myself. I'm lucky I'm not tossing my cookies all day long. At least I can eat and I'm not completely useless.

Chemo Sets In

The chemo has been pretty light up until now, just nausea the first day and mild fatigue after that. But today I'm sleepy and napping at noon. Things smell funny but I'm still tasting things normally. A friend warned me that the first treatment can be lighter and they get worse as time goes on. I'm hoping it'll just be easy on me.

Chemo Day #1

Today is the first day of Chemo. We go and talk about it for awhile and the oncologist finally recommends we take Adriamycin over Docetaxel, with Cytoxan added. We'll "only" have 4 cycles, and we're doing the "dose-dense" treatment every two weeks, so we feel sort of lucky that ours will over in 2 months.

They give me a steroid, Benadryl, and something called Aloxi for nausea. Then they push in two big vials of the Adriamycin (a.k.a. doxorubicin). Finally they hang a bag of the Cytoxan and let it drip in. The whole treatment takes about 2 hours.

We go home and I feel fine for about 4 hours and then start to feel nausea. I take the Compazine they gave us and then the Zofran. No vomiting. I finally get some sleep at about 11 pm.

Chemo Decisions and HER2

We go in for a final appointment before chemo to discuss just what we'll take and what the effects will be. Just as we're getting started we discover the path report from surgery #4 showed us as having a 2+ score on the ICH test for the HER2 receptor. Oh shit. Our first path report showed us as being HER2- and we rejoiced because HER2+ tumors have a worse prognosis.

This ends our dicussion of chemo treatments, we can't pick one until we know HER2 status. We go home and read that 2+ ICH score is ambiguous and they must do a "FISH" test to tell for sure. The next day we discover the FISH test was already done (but not not entered in the computer at Mayo) and we are indeed HER2 negative.

It sure made for a horrible night though.

We have a friend who is getting considerably more chemotherapy because she is HER2+. In all other respects we are almost the same (stage II, node negative, ER+, PR+, about 40 years old). We sure did not want to hear that was our future.

And it all delays us yet another week.

To Mayo We Go

We get a flurry of appointments at Mayo. We meet with an oncologist who says we might consider 4 cycles of Docetaxel instead of 4 of Adriamycin and 4 of Taxol. Shorter sure sounds better to us, and maybe Docetaxel is a better drug with less side effects.

Next we meet with a radiation oncologist who says we don't have much use for radiation. Followed by another radiation oncologist who can't seem to decide if we need radiation or not. We ask if there are any gray areas where we might receive some radiation but not the whole 36 treatments but no. The radiation oncologist who can't decide (we call her the hand-wringer) defers judgment to the whole team.

Finally we meet a surgeon. She wants to re-excise the area and try to get better margins. We decide we'll do it if we can avoid radiation. It also means another month before the chemo can start though and it's awful knowing that is coming. Two days later we schedule the surgery.

Oncologist Visit

Today we went to the oncologist to review our bad path report. He says we'll need chemotherapy. He wants us to do 4 cycles of Adriamycin+Cytoxan and then 4 cycles of Taxol. This is the worst news so far. All the chemo horror stories are coming back to us now. Hair loss. Vomiting. He wants to start next week.

We decide to abandon the standard doctors-near-a-hospital method of care. We have a Mayo clinic here in Jacksonville and we hear great things about them. We set up some appointments there.

Meet the oncologist

Today we met our medical oncologist, Dr. Stone. He says we can probably avoid chemo if we can get clear margins and we don't see any vascular involvement. We had a large tumor but it was low grade and had no nodes involved. He wants to run an Oncotype DX test to see if our tumor is likely to spread. It's $3,500.00 but that's alot cheaper than chemo.

We also run a BRCA1 and BRCA2 test (see more here) and that's another $3,500.00 It will tell if I have a certain genetic defect that opens me up to many types of cancer. It's awful if it's positive so we're crossing our fingers.